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The Guru is supported by many hands. Without their generous groping he would be unable to continue his simple lifestyle. He wouldn’t be able to keep up payments on his luxurious Mercedes saloon, and beachfront condo in Malibu. For every click that leads to a 3-year binding contract at 50% mark-up, he receives one rupee (Pakistani) towards his homespun existence. So please work your fingers furiously.

Martin Dahinden – once owner of a string of leather fetish shops, he now recycles dreams into sculptures, and banana boxes into houses.
Anna Burles – the embodiment of English beauty, grace, style, wit, and charm, now available to paste on your walls in anonymous suburbs worldwide.
Louise Dean– Louise studied sexual deviancy in Victorian England, practised it in South London, and now ravishes tough stoneware in her hot kiln.
Victor Michael – my friend’s big brother, who said I should feature him “or else”. The solution to all your housing needs for 2012 Olympics London.
Peter Talbot – in a world beset by people droning on about saving the environment, here are some ways to get them off your back.
Sarah Selecky – an almost award-winning short story writer with an MFA from UBC now used to provide TLC to NYP scribes.